no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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