At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
