I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
