If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
