THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
