You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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