i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
