im gay
i know
yea but for you.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
