He is an equal opportunity slut.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I'm having to shit out rocks
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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