I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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