we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
