I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
