Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
