My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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