its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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