His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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