I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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