Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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