i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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