I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
