omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
