Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
whose parrot is this?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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