FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
