Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
