If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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