found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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