Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
