it was like fucking gandolphs beard
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
