DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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