It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
