I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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