he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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