ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
