What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
