He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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