yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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