he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
