a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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