Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
