Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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