eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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