i barfeds in our rink
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
