Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
