Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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