I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
