I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
