weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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