would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
