It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
