Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
