dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
My balls are so social today.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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