I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
