She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
